


Back to the Start

by mangochi



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 10:44:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1685486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangochi/pseuds/mangochi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim's been gone on a long conference and Leonard is starting to get antsy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back to the Start

Leonard stabs at his salad wordlessly, flipping over a couple more leaves before giving up and tossing his fork down with an aggravated sigh. Christine’s still prowling outside, casting the occasional watchful glance through the window to his office, so he aims a careful smile her way before she passes and he slides his tray into the waste bin under his desk.

His stomach lurches and he stares at the blank screen of his computer for the rest of lunch break.

It’s a routine conference, he _knows_ that. Hell, he saw the kid off himself with a wave and a promise of a drink later when Jim returns. These things take a few days, he knows that, too, but still, despite knowing everything….going this long without seeing Jim or hearing his voice, every breath hurts so much that he’s not sure how long he can keep it up.

There’s a knock on the door before it slides open, Christine’s golden hair gleaming as she peers in. “Doctor, Ensign Nonn’s spiked a fever.”

Leonard blinks at the black screen, then looks up at her. “I’ll be right there.”

……….

He gets the notice the morning after Jim was supposed to return, and truth be told, he didn’t sleep much that night, but Leonard still feels like he’s woken from some kind of dream as he hurls haphazardly out of his quarters, ignoring wayward glances and murmurs as he heads straight for the bridge.

The white doors slide open and Leonard sees gold shirts, red shirts, and there he is, in the center of the room, sitting in his damn chair with knees spread and shoulders slouched in that familiar sprawl.

"Bones," Jim says, surprised, and an easy smile spreads over his face. "Hey."

Leonard stares at him, his chest still heaving, and he’s distantly aware of the harsh sound of his breathing in his own ears. Jim blinks back curiously, _innocently_ , and Leonard feels all the tension and worry and fear in his gut clench up and claw at his throat.

"You _bastard_ ,” he croaks, and he’s horrified when he realizes that his eyes are burning. “You were supposed to be back six hours ago.”

"I can explain," Jim says instantly and that’s it, Leonard’s done.

"No," he snaps, jabbing a shaky finger in Jim’s direction and backing towards the door blindly. "No, just. Just shut up, you hear?"

Jim’s expression wavers uncertainly, and Leonard turns sharply on his heel, the doors jumping open at his approach. He hears Uhura speak just before they close again, can barely make out her first few words, “With all due respect, Captain, that was-“

The lights in Leonard’s quarters switch on as soon as he walks in, but he lowers them with an impatient gesture and stalks over to the opposite wall before swiveling back, pacing towards the door again.

The intercom sounds as he’s turning around for the third time, and he freezes as Jim’s voice echoes around the room, anxious and strained.

"Bones?"

"Not now, kid," Leonard says, and he’s not angry anymore. He’s not angry, he’s just tired. Tired and sick of being left behind, or having to pick up the damn pieces when he can’t even hold onto himself.

"Bones, let me in. Come on." There’s a tentative tap on his door.

Leonard sinks onto the side of his bed, cradles his head in his hands and stares down at the floor. “I said not now.”

"Please. Just- please, Bones, we gotta talk." A louder, duller knock, like Jim’s fist thumping against the door. "Don’t do this, okay?"

"Do what?"

"Bones, I will sit my ass down here for the rest of shift if I have to- even longer if you don’t let me in."

"Well, I don’t want to see your face," Leonard snaps. "So why don’t you back off, huh?"

There’s a pause, a silence that stretches on and on, and Leonard raises his head, wondering if Jim’s taken the hint.

Then there’s a loud beep of complaint and the doors slide open to reveal Jim standing there, flushed and out of breath like he ran all the way down through the decks to get there- probably did, Leonard realizes.

Jim’s striding towards him now, the doors closing behind him, and Leonard’s paralyzed to the spot. He stares as the kid throws himself down on the bed beside him, crowding Leonard against the headboard with his shoulder and leg. Trying to keep him from running, Leonard thinks, and he almost wants to laugh. Trying to keep _him_ from running when Jim’s always charging ahead of him and one day, he’s not gonna make it back.

He doesn’t realize he’s saying all this out loud until Jim’s throwing himself down on the bed beside him, his arm heavy around Leonard’s shoulder and his hand gripping tight around his upper arm.

"Bones. Bones, stop. Just stop, okay?"

Leonard clenches his jaw shut, sucks in a ragged breath as he registers Jim’s warmth beside him. “You idiot,” he says. “You asinine fool, I was _worried,_ you hear?”

"I hear," Jim says, and his voice is rougher now too. Leonard turns his head, sees Jim staring back at him, his eyes wide and earnest and glinting. "I’m sorry. I’m sorry."

Leonard raises his hands automatically as Jim pulls him sideways into an embrace, digging his fingers into the gold fabric of Jim’s shirt as Jim ducks his face and mumbles incoherently into the side of his head.

"The hell you crying for?" Leonard finally huffs, but he presses his forehead against Jim’s shoulder and shudders. Jim’s _home_ , he tells himself, and he squeezes his arms around Jim all the tighter.

"I’mot gonna leave," Jim says, his voice muffled. "Not again, okay? It’ll be okay, it’ll be fine, just- God, Bones, just don’t run from me."

"No." Leonard finds the back of Jim’s head with a hand, runs his fingers through the short hair there. "No, don’t. Don’t make that kinda promise when you can’t keep it."

"But-" Jim protests, and Leonard grabs onto him tighter, plants a blind kiss onto the side of his forehead.

"Just say you’ll come back," he whispers sharply, feeling the back of his eyes prickle as he takes a deep breath, then another. "You’ll come back, Jim. Just say it. Say you won’t end up on that table again and- and I- and I-"

Jim pulls away from him, his hands fumbling to cup Leonard’s face between his palms, catching a tear before it falls with his thumb. “I’ll come back,” he says fiercely, his voice breaking on the final word. “I’ll come back, I swear.” He pulls Leonard close, lips brushing against his cheek, his nose. “I’m sorry.”

Leonard slides his hands around Jim’s wrists, and now they’re both crying at each other like idiots. He huffs in feeble amusement, tips his face forward and kisses Jim properly. It’s salty and damp, but it’s warm and it’s Jim _,_ and Leonard pulls back enough to take a breath before plunging back in.

"Are you still mad?" Jim murmurs uncertainly, lips stirring against Leonard’s mouth.

"Oh, I’m furious," Leonard answers. "Downright peeved."

Jim squishes his cheeks gently between his palms. “Jerk.”

"You’ll be making it up to me for a long time, don’t worry," Leonard reassures him, and he leans in again.


End file.
